Hi,
I haven't written a new post for sometime, have been busy with work! Yes, finally after some months, I got a project to do. It was much required to get the old grey cells, rusting in some corner of my brain, running!! I used to be working full time till my son was born; unlike this part time, work from home thing I do now. Being with market research, work life was unpredictable, full of hustle bustle, irritation, frustration, abuses (to the ever demanding, never satisfied client). It was also full of women gossip, unwinding at parties, continuous oiling of grey cells without any effort....and of course the moolah!!
I thought I would be happy leaving my job, after all I used to curse it lots of times. However, after almost 2 years, the itch to get back to work started. Unlike traditional Indian husbands, mine pushed me into scratching the itch, finding work. Maybe his taunts that how I wasted an MBA seat and have become a housewife worked.
Initially, I had many issues admitting I was a housewife. I remember some census guy had come, asking who all stay here, what does your husband do etc. He asked me, "What do you do?" I launched into "I was working, now my son is small so have left job......." He gave me a tired look and wrote "Housewife"!!! I was like WHAT!!!! I narrated this incident to my husband in the evening; he was like "So? That's what you are now" I was like "No way.....how can I be....am I....yes, that's right I am....I AM!!!! Boo hoo"
So what is it about working? For a women? I do not want to make this generic to all 'earlier working, now not working' women. But somewhere, since working women are in minority, it sets them apart from the majority of housewives. I as a working women used to feel above them......though in office, we gossiped about the same topics. Difference being, the location was not someone's house, kitty party, 'galli', supermarkets........instead it was office - a formal area, primary language of discussion being English, lending it some sophistication!!
The other 2 important things are - Money, and Dinner table conversations.
Money makes the world go around: In my initial 'housewifely' days, I remember liking a formal shirt, which was expi (actually for a formal shirt, it was the right price), but extremely nice. However, I didn't buy it - I rationalized saying where will I wear it now, it was different when I used to go to office etc etc. Now, if it had been cheaper, maybe this rationalization would not have worked. My husband in all this, urged me to purchase it, the thoughts of My money and Your money are alien to him. Those are the concepts on which I operate :):)
But, working brings a certain amount of financial independence and it is in these small things that it really matters. (We have done a lot of research which says working women still depend upon a male, father or husband, for financial decisions) Initially I had a great hesitation using my husband's money to buy gifts for my family. I don't know why since the poor chap never even knew I was withdrawing through his ATM card!
So, alongwith the moolah issue, my wardrobe and accessories changed. More casual clothes and Tees were stocked, than formal salwar kameez and western attire. I still use my old phone (purchased in 2006) and have no plans of changing it; I don't hold credit cards, however, even now I am the cash carrier!!; shopping bings have ended, mostly it is like "I am at home, why do I need xyz!!" So, the entire 'working women' aura has diminished :(:(
Dinner table conversations...hmmm...in the 'working woman times', dinner table was actually the restaurant dinner table....getting ready for work and making tea was at best what I could manage! Even with the typical Udupi waiter hurrying us up (however much one is earning, eating out everyday cannot be managed at a fine dine everytime), I still managed to tell my husband about my day. It revolved around the current unreasonable client demands, how we should therefore not solicit his products; slowness of my juniors/field staff; unexpected meeting called by boss on weekend; gossip about who has resigned, having love affair etc.
Now, we have dinner (lunch and breakfast) at the dining table (we OWN one). It is an elaborate affair, though my maid gives us looks to hurry up. In between ignoring her impatient looks and feeding my son, I tell my husband about my day - the pain I went through arguing with the vegetable vendor for 50 niaras; cribs about the maid coming late; son not cooperating to get up and his slowness causing taunts from teacher; one friend having issues with the other, fighting with her husband etc etc.
So, some things have not changed!! :):)
I have best of both worlds now. I work part time from home; so I can spend time with family, and at work. Since it is freelancing, at times I have work, at times I don't. But whenever I do have, I enjoy it more and the small amount of money gains tremendous proportions! However, I miss all my office colleagues and the times I spent with them. That's when I really really want to get back to an office life.
Ciao
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