Ex pat life

To me, the word 'ex pat' gave rise to connotations of being rich, leading a luxurious and pampered life, spending days in sheer laziness......

When I came to Lagos, I realized what being an ex pat actually meant. Oh of course, it meant the above; but went beyond that. As an ex pat one gets a lot of 'help' - driver, full time nanny, cleaner, security guard etc. When you are about to sit in the car, the security holds the door open for you, closes the door also for you. If it rains, the driver gets wet, gets the umbrella (not bought, instead provided by the company!) out of the boot and holds it above your head. Reminds you of the landlords in the hey days right? :)

The full time nanny is the general dogsbody. She does million small things and few big things - cuts and chops all the veggies, is expected to learn how to cook and differentiate between hundreds of Indian spices, make the perfect dough, lay the table, wash clothes etc etc etc. Also, she is expected to help the child with homework! I mean, if she was so qualified, why would she be a nanny? We are talking about Lagos and not England (that Mary Poppins times).

So, one would assume that the lady of the house would lead a peaceful and calm existence, be able to pursue her hobbies, be totally stressfree. Does that happen? NO! The lady of the house is seen screaming her lungs out for every small thing (“I told you to come at 7 am, why are you late, its now 7.05 am!; why did you not make XYZ do the homework; how can you forget!!!!!”)

The guard - "Why are you not at the gate!" (Ma'am, nature call)

And not only at home - "Driver, take me to that place where we had gone yesterday.....you do not remember!" (but Ma'am, you went to 5 places yesterday, which one are you talking about)
"You don't know this place in Lagos.......how come? You are not from Lagos" (but Ma'am, in Mumbai/Delhi/Bangalore/Chennai, do you know ALL the places???? and why will I know all the roads and shops in an Indian locality by heart?)

So, is this typical of her behaviour in India also? Or was she different? Of course she was! Can she dare shout and scream at the maid in India.......she would leave instantly, leaving her salary behind, abusing the lady and her entire household. She dare not raise her voice there.

What happens when the same woman comes to Lagos (or any country which has ex pats)? I think it is a function of her having power....or the perception of power. And of course racism. yes, racism.

The Indian knows that he/she is superior to the Africans, I mean thats the reason he has been recruited in the first place, with a high salary in dollars. His wife basks in the reflected glory and feels, if her husband is 'getting work done' from the locals in office; the same needs to be done with them at home.

It also has something to do with the security she gets that the 'help' will not leave (like the Indian maid), after all, they need the employment and the money 'we' provide. She takes great pride in screaming, thats the only way to get them to toe the line. By this, she is actually doing them a service in making them conscientious in their work; thereby charting their path towards development.

Yes, the locals are lazy, need to be disciplined and need the money. But they are also humans. They deserve to be treated like humans. They belong to a race that we believe is inferior to us, but are we not all from the same larger race? Can we not rest our lungs and limit our tongue when we are driving them on the path to betterment?

Most companies have locals MDs. Does she stop to think what if her husband gets treated like this by his boss? I guess not!

Ciao